What would it be like to be a modern astronomer who based all of your research on your wholehearted belief that the earth was flat? Besides being the laughingstock of your peers, your research would be seriously flawed, and you would undoubtedly struggle for most of your career.

Holding fast to a belief or a behavior long after it has ceased to work for us is the definition of dysfunctional. In my work training and consulting with hundreds of people who are trying to enhance their performance and their enjoyment at work, I’ve noticed that dysfunctional beliefs are always bigger obstacles to success than unreasonable bosses, information overload or malfunctioning technology.

Typically, we’re not even aware we have these beliefs, and they’re not as easy to disprove as the shape of the earth. Many were formed so early in our childhood that they seem perfectly natural. Since self-awareness is the necessary first step in overcoming self-defeating beliefs, I thought I’d share with you the three most common ones I see:

1. "Everyone has to like me all of the time."

As children, we rely on adults for our survival, and pleasing them is an extremely effective way of getting what we need. For some of us, the need to please others becomes so strong that by the time we no longer need the approval of others to survive, we can’t shut it off. While it’s typically a positive thing to want to contribute, collaborate and cooperate, signs that this belief has crossed over to an unhealthy level are that you have a hard time saying no, if rejection or criticism is extremely painful, or if your desire to please others causes you to let others disrespect your personal boundaries and disregard your needs.

2. "I only have value as a human being if I succeed."

Another childhood lesson many of us learn is that we receive approval and attention if we excel. Rewards for things like high grades or athletic victories may have given us the impression that our value is connected with how well we perform, even if our parents didn’t intend to teach us that lesson. Self-defeating levels of this belief create people who are perfectionists, workaholics, overcommitted and chronically busy. Ironically, people who have this belief are often high achievers who are outwardly driven and successful but inwardly dissatisfied. Not all successful high achievers hold this belief; the difference is that their success is not a condition of their self worth.

3. "Work should be work."

Are you operating under the belief that work should be a struggle? Do you assume that you should have to suffer for your paycheck? The successful people who follow their passion and are fueled by their love of their work would disagree. While most of us have to do grunt work or unpleasant tasks from time to time, it can be helpful to recognize when this belief has reached a dysfunctional level—when it prevents us from pursuing professional opportunities because they seem too much like play, or when it keeps us stuck in a job or career that we don’t enjoy. If you find yourself ferociously separating work from play, it may be because you had a parent who did not enjoy their work, or because you learned early on by being paid to do unpleasant chores that work, by definition, always meant doing something you didn’t enjoy.

This list could go on and on, but the goal here is to get you thinking about what you’re thinking, and how it influences your ability to enjoy your work and be successful at it. For those who want to pursue this topic, I recommend Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior by Mark Goulston, M.D., and Philip Goldberg as a great starting place to the introduction to overcoming self-defeating behavior.

Want to use this article in your e-newsletter or website? You can use this material in whole or in part, as long as you include this complete attribution and live link: Productivity consultant and trainer Cristin Lind of Clearwater Productivity helps busy professionals enhance their work and enrich their lives. If you’re ready to get more done with less effort, visit www.clearwaterproductivity.com.